The three tenors
Had a wonderful first night in the hospital listening to the three tenors entertain me.
Such a treat and to get this for free as a public patient is a real treat.
My Unplanned Sabbatical
A journey with follicular lymphoma
Archive for the day “February 21, 2012”
Chemo
I am currently in an oncology ward at the Monash Hospital. My treatment was meant to start this morning but having arrived at 8 am as requested I found that I had no bed and was sent home. That is the system I guess.
I received a call to advise that a bed was now free (I hope no one died) and to present at 2 pm. So I did. So compliant.
It was a bit late to start today so I have a wonderful stay overnight. I am in a ward of four. The three gentlemen with me are not in great shape which makes this a bit yuk. I am hiding behind my curtain trying not to focus on all the noises a human body can make. I still feel great so it makes this more difficult. Maybe if i felt crap it would be easier.
Anyway, tomorrow they start.
Two days of Chemo and a cocktail of other stuff. Will be an experience.
I also set myself up to do a bit of work. I agreed to review the Rio proposal story board and was looking forward to it. I was also keen to see how this new Windows 4008 etc etc would work. Well it didn’t. I could not connect to the network. So I had to send it back into ITS for some loving.
“More farewells than John Farnham”
Apart from dealing with family, planning on taking a break from work was/is the most difficult aspect I am yet to deal with. This is not because of the way in which my colleagues and the firm has responded. They are all wonderfully supportive and made it easy for me.
I have just found it incredibly difficult to let go and walk away for a while. What I do is such a big part of who I am, it gives me focus, challenge and enjoyment. It can also disappoint and shit me but this is far from the norm.
The team I work with have just seamlessly taken on more and got in with it. It has been pleasing to watch.
I decided that I would finally let go and leave after spending a final 2 days at a partner leadership retreat. It was a good 2 days and I am pleased I used this as the time to call it.
A good and close friend also suggested that “I have had more farewells than John Farnham” and it was time to just go and get on with it.
It made me laugh. She was so right.
Where do I sign
I had an appointment arranged for me with a Professor focussed on treating follicular lymphoma to discuss my treatment options. He was very good to talk to. He was also young, fit and a keen cyclist who had ridden behind the tour de France and the Giro di Italia which somehow made him more credible to me. Weird I know.
He confirmed that if I was given the option of this trial I should grab it hands both hands. He was also associated with the trial which he made clear to me at the outset.
I also spoke to an experienced Dr who is a friend. He also confirmed I should try getting accepted on the trial.
So accept I did.
Clincal Trial
The results of the bone marrow biopsy were good. All clear! That was a good day. So it was confirmed that I have Follicular Lymphoma, grade A , stage 3. Could be worse I guess. It’s not testicular cancer, melanoma, lung cancer, bowel cancer, liver cancer, brain tumor etc all of which are somewhat nastier.
The good Dr G explained what this type of lymphoma was and how it can be treated. It was at this stage he mentioned in passing that it was not curable, but treatable. That comment did not register for some time. I asked him how this would kill me. He was a little taken back by the question but from my perspective at that time this was important to me. It was strangely a key question as once I had an understanding of that I could somehow work backwards and choose how to fill that space and time.
He set it out for me.
The good Dr G then suggested I should be a good candidate for a clinical trial. This trial would give me access to what is said to be the new standard in Europe and America for the treatment of my type cancer.
I was initially skeptical. I did not like the concept of trailing anything. I wanted what was known to work and fast! He suggested I think it over and get a second or third opinion.
So I did.
“Feel the sand between your toes”
The good Dr G suggested I take a break for awhile given all that had transpired and focus on Christmas and the holidays. “Feel the sand between your toes” was his advice. I listened.
Summer break was spent in Portsea with friends and some family. It was a good time. Children relaxed and we entertained almost constantly. It was an intense and fun time. I trained harder than usual and felt great. Long bike rides with good friends, a fun run and the usual exercise regime. Great wine, good food and lots of laughter.
I read a book on surviving cancer which may have been a bit premature as it dealt with the feelings and challenges often experienced by cancer survivors after their focus on beating the disease was over. I found it useful.
On the 9th of Jan I returned to Melbourne for a procedure to determine the staging of what I have which was the bone marrow biopsy.
Me
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My Unplanned Sabbatical 