Although I slept badly last night today has been the best day since the 17th of April by a nice margin.
I have been out most of the day walking the dog and then visiting my brother. I feel much better.
Returned home to find a wrapped Cadel Evans book in our letterbox with no note or indication of who left it.
Thanks you to whomever left the book and I will read it with interest.
I have my mid cycle blood test tomorrow and I am meeting with the oncologist to discuss the drug regime which I hope can be improved.
I also shaved for the first time in a longtime, I was starting to look like a hobo and the girls hated it. I said I would shave when I started to feel better and it looks like my timing was good.
Enjoyed a dinner with good friends last night. Great food and good, diverse conversation. It was great to get out and have a few laughs. It was good for Petra to enjoy herself and catch up with her friends and be half normal.
I have been struggling with a stable sleeping pattern lately, I think it may have to do with not enough exercise. Not sure really but it’s bothering me.
Still having patchy days. Got up early and accompanied Lily to cross country running. It was a beautiful morning and it was enjoyable. Lily had fun and did well.
Since about 11 am I have felt pretty ordinary. Nausea, head aches and fatigue. It does my head. I am trying to stay off the drugs and clean and it’s harder physically.
Petra and girls went out for the afternoon and I was like a vegetable on the couch. Decided to go watch a friends child play local football to get out of the house. That was ok and a distraction.
Running out of ideas it keep my head right. I know I have to let this run but I am starting to get frustrated with this story.
Made it to kids sport this morning. Sun was shining and it was good to be outside. Caught up with a few people I have not seen for a while. Allot of similar conversations.
Girls enjoyed their sport. I enjoyed watching.
By the end of it I was pretty tired.
I have spent the balance of the day in bed sleeping and listening to the football in dispatches. Necessary but boring.
We have been invited out to dinner tonight with a group of friends. Promises to be a good night. I have not seen two of the couples for a long time so I am preparing myself for the usual “20 questions”. All very normal and understandable but a little draining.
My plan will be to answer openly and quickly and with some luck we all will be onto better topics by main course!
It has been a moderately active day for a change. Started with a leisurely 9 km stroll with Petra and dog. The dog and I were both shattered in the end. I think I may have peaked a little early and been a little ambitious. How Oxfam seems a distant memory now.
I felt ok to workout so I exercised for about 50 minutes at low to moderate intensity.
That made me feel little better.
The rest of the afternoon I have been reading and sleeping. All rather indulgent really.
Kids will be home from netball training soon and I can feel a couple of rounds of table tennis coming on. The weekend is here and I am really looking forward to getting to the kids sports. I feel I have come along way since last Saturday and for that I am very thankful.
Slipped back a bit today. I suppose that is to be expected. I can’t seem to shake this bloody awful nausea. Should have passed by now but it lingers. I have not taken any drugs today and it’s been a little tough.
Managed to go out for a family dinner with the in laws which was good. It may seem strange but my appetite it strong along with the nausea. I feel better on a full stomach but that feeling does not last long.
Anyway it is all getting rather boring.
Watching Mr Murdoch doing his best in the Leveson enquiry. He certainly does not suffer from chemo brain given the time span the questions are covering. I would be hopeless.
Slept well and woke early for a day I hope will remain ok.
Petra and I watched a movie “We have to talk about Kevin”, not the best choice if you wanted a bit of light relief. The story of a mothers struggle to connect with her son when she knows something is not quite right. Powerful and well acted but depressing. I wont tell you about it, its worth a watch if you feel like reaching for draino for a drink.
My cancer psychologist called for a chat and wanted to know if I felt like jumping off the kitchen table. I said I was OK. Had she called two days ago it would have been a darker conversation. She did make a good suggestion that the current combination of medication I was on may not be right for me and suggested a couple of alternatives that I will discuss with the oncologist when I next see him.
I shared with a friend this morning how it is strangely quite emotional when you start to feel good again. Even though its just incremental. You have pushed through the yuk and you are regenerating. More good cells survived the black bag and they are fighting back, springing into life. You feel the energy and strength returning. It is a bit of a rush. I hope to start to exercise again later this week. That is the sign I am back.
I have been scheduled for a CT scan on the 10th of May to determine my progress with the treatment. For the first time I will know what has been going on inside. Clearly hopeful for some degree of remission and positive news to anchor the next 3 months. I was told last week that I will need to go the full 6 months so I am keen to see evidence that the black bags have been doing more than just making feel like crap. The news that I have to go the full 6 months was a little depressing as for some reason I had convinced myself that I would most likely only need 3 months.
I found out today that the next group therapy session has been scheduled for 31 May 2012 and I will attend that. Keen to see what skippy has been up to.
I have also attached a clip of an upcoming advertisement that will appear on TV to start to increase awareness that Lymphoma is increasingly a young persons disease and as with most things in the battle for funding you need to make lots of noise to cut through to get noticed and supported. Its is pleasing to see that the association is starting to get some traction.
Went for walk and stayed out of bed all day. Watched a movie and rested. Feeling better.
Started to reduce the drugs I am taking to control the side effects of the black bag as they make me feel quite out of it. After a while this is not as pleasant as it may initially seem.
Hope this improvement continues.
A big thank you for all the email, texts, calls and posts wishing me well. All greatly appreciated.
This is all getting rather repetitive. Bone tired today and dragged myself out of bed at 3 pm, only as far as the couch. Feeling really crappy and that is starting to really frustrate me. I am really sick of being sick. Decided not to shave until I feel better, funny how the kids are responding to that. Shades of Movember.
I need to get my head right and just push through it. Hoping Monday will
be better.
Another flat, yuk day. Tried to do a bit more today but failed. Did not make it to the basket ball or netball which was disappointing.
Watching the football tonight. The Pelusi family is with us tonight for a family meal. Adrian and Petra cooking whilst Sneza and I do nothing. Kids are playing.
Waiting up to watch Hawthorn play West coast, should be a tough game.
Good to see the house full of people. I am just hanging on. Just.
My Unplanned Sabbatical 