Conflicted by the insider
I suppose whilst I think I am still youthful, intouch and have an endless road of life to journey my connection to technology see’s me otherwise.
I am not one to be constantly connected to an iphone nor one to see the computer as a crictial source of communication, hence my infrequent posts. I do have to admit that this blog has allowed me to be somewhat voyeuristic of my own family as I see the photos of smiling children achieving something everyday and family gatherings, so I have to admit I do ponder if the computer pictures are my realitly. Maybe the “Brady bunch” image is glossy and sometimes conflicting to me but there is a tangible history that allows me to see the many positive moments that fill our day and the blog and technoglogy have given the vehicle, but its Serg’s illness that been the catalyst.
Conflicted is the best way I can describe what Serg’s illness has made me feel. It is a struggle to reconcile the irrational emotions of how somedays its hard to predict what care I can provide to Serg from food ,to noise ,to positive motivation , business/client debriefs and tough love with that of the rational, that we have a blessed life with healthy children and our only struggle is for our own sanity!
So as the next cycle is about to begin in 6 days I feel conflicted by the uncertainity of how serg will respond but with the certainity that the treatment is necessary for a positive outcome.
Conflicted? Why does it seem to take illness or suffering for us to reflect and gain positive insights.
My Unplanned Sabbatical 