My Unplanned Sabbatical

Merricks day two

Another good day at Merricks. Family woke up slow. Long walk on beach, bike rides, school projects, reading and general “slothness”. Girls love it here.

It’s cool and rain showers have made outside activities a bit of a lottery. We have released at least 1 ton of carbon into atmosphere as the fire has been roaring all day. Worth the $23.

Nothing planned tonight, a low key family dinner, nice wine and early to bed.

Tomorrow is my mothers 78th birthday lunch. As the Italian matriarch she has certainly embraced multicultural Australia as its yum cha! My father will turn in his grave! How things change.

Feeling ok.

Dog loving life!

Merricks Beach

After this weeks activity we decided not to send the girls to school on Friday and head down to the beach house for the weekend.

It’s cold, around 11c and good weather for a fire, a book, tea and maybe a board game or two.

The girls are all recovering from mild winter colds and slowing down will do them good.

If the weather clears will walk the dog on the beach and take the girls for a ride.

It’s very quiet down here and we like it as much in the winter as the summer. Actually, it’s probably a better winter place.

On the drive down the hospital called as I forgot about my blood test this morning. Lucky it was in the same direction so a quick detour was necessary and I pulled into the hospital car park, with dog, bikes and family. It was like national lampoon road trip. Zipped in, offered an arm and zipped out!

I can hear the girls playing monopoly and I am listening to the fire crackle with the dog. All good.

A good day

Great day today with committed team of professionals. All did their best and it was a real pleasure to participate in the delivery and observe their craft.

Still some real work to be done but I can do more of the review and less of the doing. Funny how much I enjoyed working again.

Chilling out tonight and relaxing. Petra out watching Siena sing at the Winter Concert. Tomorrow I will have some friends visit at home and I will do some training. All good.

Partners

Worked pretty much all day today. I am pretty shattered. It happened to be the Victorian office partner meeting today so I dropped into the meeting/lunch. It was great to see everyone and it was a really positive experience to see and reconnect with people. Lots of hugs, back slaps and a few kisses!

Partnerships are such an unusual thing, so different to a corporate. Our sense of ownership, common purpose, stewardship and support is unique I believe. It has given me and my family great support and strength when I am at my most vulnerable.

Great to read Petra’s blog today and her perspective on things. The kids are coming down with winter flu’s which worries us somewhat. I can’t afford to catch it when my immunity is low as it is. Not much I can do about it really as it is that time of year.

To bed early tonight as tomorrow is another biggish day. Pens down Wednesday night for awhile and back to my sleep ins, breaky in bed and rest before next week juice up!

Moving along by the insider

So as you can read we are living the world of medical illness. It is now no longer a journey of new experiences but rather a cycle of repetitive events. Our calender that was once is marked by birthday,social gatherings and holidays is now marked by the medical appointments and chemotherapy dates. I find myself paralysised , ineffective with actions[ change address on licence] ,tasks and projects that should be undertaken.

But soon our acute treatment phase will cease and what then??? Will we go back to life as it was before , fast and furious?? Will this experience change us? Will we have expectations that this should be life changing…what ever that means and will I be more effective in my actions. The most important question is will Serg still blog and will you out there in cyberspace be interested in what he has to say… surely you will ..

I suspect there is more to come , another new journey full of new experiences . Its not just over when the last drop of chemotoxins is delivered.

Work

Worked today. Felt ok. Lots of talking and listening. Managed ok although I was struggling a bit towards the end of the day.

A bigger day tomorrow is planned so will rest tonight and retire to bed early.

It was good to see the team and catch up briefly with friends and colleagues.

Tricky weekend

It has been a challenging weekend for me on a range of levels. I am struggling with a number of things. I have been
feeling ok but get hit with feelings of intense fatigue and mild anxiety at what appears to be at random throughout the day, although more pronounced mid to late afternoons.

Yesterday was very tricky and so far today has been a bit up and down. I put myself to bed at 7.30pm last night and slept about 12 hours which was a heap for me. This morning the family and I all watched Lily run cross country and then we we out for breakfast. Lily ran well, was first for her club and fourth over all.

The house is mine this afternoon as the twins are at a basketball clinic (so much sport) and Petra and Siena are out doing Mother/daughter things. I am tracking the credit card! Joke.

I love the quiet.

I am preparing a presentation as part of a bid for this Wednesday. I have to admit I am not enjoying doing that today but it has to be done (hence the distraction of writing this blog entry. Like a teenager cleaning their room during exam week).

It’s a grind, not flowing, must be my brain. Some of the neural connections appear to be misfiring or the connection is simply lost!

Although thankful of my time off to deal with this cancer I think I have been a little unlucky with two of my major clients going to tender during the period of my absence (maybe that says something). At least the second one is timed a little better in relation to my chemo cycles.

Tonight we have people over for dinner but I will excuse myself pretty early I think.

This coming week I believe will test me a bit as I will work Monday, all day Tuesday and then lead the bid on Wednesday. Interesting to see how I cope and pull up physically and mentally.

It is what it is.

Friends

It is not new that illness or adversity brings people together. In addition to the significant support and contact with my existing circle of family and friends, I have also experienced over the last 5 months a large number of reconnections with good friends that for a range of reasons “life” had caused a drift in connection.

One positive in this experience.

I was given a gift today by a friend that I did not expect and blew me away. It is a Hawthorn football jumper signed by all 2012 players as a marker for this year. The signatures were obtained for this purpose by her relative that works in club administration. Not easy to do and a gift I will cherish.

It will be framed and hung in my “man cave”!