My Unplanned Sabbatical

The appointment

Went to see the oncologist today. My usual Oncologist was busy so I was seen by the Registrar. A nice young Dr.

The news continues to be positive in relation to my progress and test results. I am thankful. I had a number of questions that I had prepared in relation to potential outcomes and treatment plans etc.

Unfortunately, none of these questions could be handled by the Registrar. He took note of them and agreed they should be discussed next month when I have my next scheduled appointment.

I have nothing against the Registrar but I was disappointed with the process and visit. He had some background to my condition and was reading my file in my presence but to me it was a waste of my time. Few relevant questions were asked in respect of how I was coping this month physically and mentally. There was no tangible outcome to the meeting other than another bulk billing opportunity.

Fortunately I have time to invest in this process but if I was working and had to rearrange my day or take leave etc I would have been further disappointed.

I was thinking about how our clients may feel when they invest time to see us and we are either poorly prepared or staff turnover results in a new fresh face on the account that needs reeducation etc etc. I hope we are better than this at work.

I have not done a great deal today. Started a new book “Barack Obama The Making of the Man”. I am reading chapters of the book to the dog who seems very appreciative!!

I will pick up the girls from school soon and we have friends coming over for dinner tonight. I think I may be ready for a nice Italian red.

Have not been able to push myself to do any exercise. Maybe later, maybe not!!

A small backward step

Today was a nothing day. I woke up late, did some work, caught up with my brother and rested. I did not feel well today. Not sure why, I felt really fatigued, anxious and slightly nauseous. Not well enough to train or do anything physical.

It was a slight step backwards.

I have my mid cycle appointment with the oncologist tomorrow and I am armed full of questions re the next phase of this journey.

I was scheduled to be on a plane today with a good friend flying to France to ride in the Phil Anderson tour of the tour de France.

Maybe next year.

Eyebrows

I continued to feel better physically over the weekend. I am completely off all drugs including Panadol.

I managed to train for an hour or so today and I am planning to try and do so every day till the next cycle. I have 18 days to go until my last cycle and my goal is to be as strong and fit as possible before my last cocktail.

Thankful the intensive cycle of treatment is almost over.

Interestingly although I have managed to keep my hair I have almost lost my eyebrows! Weird. I think this has just started to happen. I also need to shave less. I can live with this.

Still feeling reasonably fatigued and pretty flat. I can be feeling half ok and then be hit out of the blue with intense fatigue that stops me my tracks. All part of it I guess.

Ok

A better day. Slow and nice. The girls left this afternoon with my in laws to fly to the Sunshine coast for a family wedding this weekend. They will return on Sunday. It was good to see them get together with their cousins and show their excitement.

It’s also good that they have a positive experience away from our house and this illness. They need to be just kids for a while.

Petra and I have a childless weekend which will be a change. Went out for an early dinner tonight to Brunswick street which was good. Such a great eating strip.

Feeling ok but really tired.

An experiment

I stopped taking my nausea meds yesterday and continued without them today. Resorting only to Panadol for the headaches.

I wanted to test the link between the quality of my headspace and the anti nausea drugs. I think there is a strong link. I feel so much stronger and positive mentally off those drugs. I am also much happier. Nausea is still not great but I can tolerate it if I eat regularly.

I am also off coffee. Cold turkey. It was making me ill.

So my plan is to continue this month without the drugs and hopefully avoid some of the blacker days.

Today felt like a day of transition. More good than bad.

Slightly worse

A bit of a punishing day. Woke with a glimmer of better things to come but quickly slipped back into not a great place.

Went for a short walk with the dog. That’s about it.

A bit worse

Last night and today have been pretty poor. I have remained in bed. Last night I dreamed vividly a large tree was growing out of my abdomen! The pain and cramps were terrible and that dream recurring.

I am taking all my drugs.

The dog and I have basically slept all day. I wake to find food and fluid by my bed. Petra and the girls have been out all day at breakfast, sport, various catch ups and now an early dinner.

Wanting to feel better tomorrow so I can do a coffee catch up to! I need to drag myself out of this house tomorrow. As much as I love the dog it’s a one way conversation.