My Unplanned Sabbatical

Day one: stem cell harvest

Day one of a four day process to harvest my stem cells for potential future use. It has been sold to me as an insurance policy for the future. If the cancer returns the Dr will have the option of using my now clean and shiny stem cells to replace the cancerous ones.

Sounded like a good idea so I signed on the dotted line.

I fronted up to a new hospital this morning to start the process. After some more blood tests etc I was handed what I thought would be a frozen lobster salad but instead was a freezer pack containing 20 pre prepared needles.

Petra needs to jab me four times a day until Monday when the nurses take over. So far so good, Petra’s attempt at the first 2 needles were not to bad but I can see the need for some improvement. She basically threw the second one into my stomach which was character building.

I feel like a woman on IVF!

There are a range of side effects but mood swings is not one of them. Time will tell how I get on.

Monday will see me hooked up to a machine were I have been told my entire blood volume will leave my body three times and around 2 million clean stem cells will be filtered out to be frozen. Sounds interesting.

Moving forward

Since my last entry I have been focussed on getting match fit for work. It’s getting better. I am not as tired as I was and the last 2 weeks have been ok. A little frustrating at times but better.

The coming week will be a little disjointed. I have one final procedure to undergo this week which will see miss 3 or 4 days of work. After this I will been fine to focus on the run to Christmas.

Family is well and all is moving in the right direction.

A little worse than I expected

Tuesdays session knocked me around more than expected. I ended up having to spend most of Wednesday in bed. Felt very ordinary.

Woke up at 4 pm on Wednesday to go into the city to attend a work/client event at the new Hamer hall which was and excellent evening.

One of the better tax functions I have attended.

Feeling better although work was pretty tiring today.

Hello you

Five hours in the big blue chair today and its almost done.

I entered the ward this morning to be greeted warmly by all the nurses with big smiles. They remembered my name. Strangely comforting.

In for a “grease and oil change “I said in a lame attempt at humor. They chuckled, didn’t deserve a chuckle.

My second maintenance dose of rituximab has been pretty uneventful. I feel a bit off but that’s about it. Hot and a little flushed. I will be better tomorrow.

10 more to go over the next 2 years. Scans last week confirmed my remaining scar tissue has all but disappeared and the Drs are really happy.

Medical interventions are starting to diminish and I have one last new thing to do which is a stem cell harvest on the 12 th of November. It’s like insurance I have been told and harvesting the stem cells is easy, it’s putting them back that sucks. I hope that is never needed.

All good.

Week One

Week one over. Felt the days were long and I did glaze over at times during a couple of meetings and some conversations. It was good though to be back and it was reasonably productive. Managed to connect with and set up things with those that matter both inside and outside of Deloitte. Everyone was warm and welcoming.

I picked up an infection which was not great so ended up on antibiotics and needed more rest. Not sure if this was work related or just bad timing. My guess, just bad timing.

I am sure next week will be better. I am not match fit yet so I need to learn to say no a bit for a while. I have no medical appointments next week so the week will be less disjointed. Three days in the office and two days working from home is the right balance at the moment.

Ready

Suit selected, shirt pressed, shoes cleaned, bag packed, all systems go for my return to work tomorrow.

Hard to believe more than 10 months has passed.

I am ready.

New normal

I have settled back in Melbourne after the 8 days of “healthy” living. Still off the coffee and doing ok with that. Will see how long that can last.

Enjoying eating normally again. It’s school holidays so doing as much as we can with the kids. Went to the preliminary final last night with the family to watch Hawthorn limp over the line and make the grand final. It was nerve racking but a great night and lots of fun. The girls screamed themselves hoarse.

Have set my return to work date, Monday the 8th of October. Seems so close now. I am a little apprehensive and nervous about resuming this part of my life again. Looking forward to it but a little anxious. I am sure it will be fine.

I will ease into it working flexibly with 3 days in the office per week and the rest working from home. Will do this for a while and build up. I am looking really forward to catching up with my clients over (I was going to write coffee) say mineral water or lunch to catch up on the events of the past 9 months. Same with the team.

Having been out for a while I have a fresh perspective on so many aspects of what we do and how we do it that I look forward to testing.

My first month back will also see a number of tests and follow ups that will have an impact. I will need to work all that in.

I feel that I am well and truly on the way back to some sort of new normal.

“Sawadee Khrup”

Well not sure what to say about this one. We thought it would be good idea to have 6 days in a health resort. Petra the research queen selected “Chiva Som” in Hua Hin Thailand. Beautiful place. Super luxurious and it’s focus is on diet and a range of conventional, complementary and alternative treatments.

Half way through and I would sell my dog for a coffee, a glass of red wine and sausage!

On arrival I had suspicions I was in for a Waco style experience where I had to
sign a declaration that I would not use my mobile phone outside of my room, no iPads and no photos can be taken. Clearly this place would not have been on Steve Jobs bucket list.

You meet your health consultant after check in, fill out a detailed questionnaire and then a 6 day diet, exercise, massage and range of other therapies is designed for you. It’s a full board arrangement and most things are included in your tariff (which would feed a Thai village for a year ).

I knew I was in for something special when my consultant read “recovering from cancer” as opposed to the more usual “I want to loose inches of my thighs, smooth out my cellulite, reduce those little lines around my eyes, oh and if I have time, can we plump up my lips a little?”.

Anyway 3 days in and the coffee withdrawal head ache is beginning to fade, I have had more green tea, lemon grass tea, power juices, vegetables, wheat grass shots, vitamins, steamed everything that a body can take. I thought chemo was hard. My tip is if you are diagnosed with cancer, come here first, then chemo is a walk in the park! Ok I am exaggerating a little.

The food is excellent although portion controlled. You can have as much as you like though. It’s based on Thai cuisine so it’s really fragrant and a little spicy. There is some wine but only after 7 pm.

Our days start early around 7 am with a walk on the beach, then Breaky, then a range of classes like “super stretch”, then Pilates, then abs and butt work out. Some rest time and time in the gym. A light lunch then some more classes like yoga or meditation. A massage and time in the sauna and spa. More rest then dinner and bed.

Repeat with slight variations.

We have had some real Mr Bean moments that will make for good stories. I will write about those episodes later.

Have to go, my bowel is calling…again!!

An inspiring 4 days

I attended our national partners conference in QLD last week returning home yesterday.

I was a little nervous and slightly anxious before the conference but those feelings soon dissipated. I experienced great warmth and understanding from all as the news of my good outcome and proposed return to work spread.

I enjoyed catching up with and spending time with friends and colleagues. It was a little draining at times sharing my story but I understood that for many, especially those in other states and countries this was the first time we connected.

I am always inspired, energized and humbled by our annual conference. So much capability and intellect in the partnership. More than 500 partners attended and I always consider myself fortunate to be one of them.

Lots of laughs, good food, amazing wines and not enough sleep. My first small step back.

Post script

Quiet evening at home after a monumental week. Yesterday’s appointment with the oncologist confirmed all the earlier good news. We spent considerable more time talking about the results of the treatment and how the old body responded marvelously to the black bags.

I will now be scanned every 3 months for the next 2 years and then twice a year for a further 3 years. Then nothing structured. On my own.

I have been told to be careful as my immune system is not full strength. This should return to normal over the next 2 years. Apparently 20% of patients also suffer a dip approx 2 months post treatment as their immune system starts to kick in again and need to spend some time in hospital on antibiotics and antivirals. Increased chance of fever and infection so I need to be vigilant for a little while.

It was a strange feeling after the good Dr stopped talking and all my questions were exhausted. I sincerely thanked his team for all they had done. That sounded odd and simply not enough. How do you adequately express this gratitude? Not sure you ever can really. He accepted our thanks graciously replying “this is what I do”. Made me reflect on what I do and how insignificant that is in the grand scheme of things.

Then we left feeling fantastic, but a little strange nonetheless.

What compounded this feeling is that this last 9 months has been surreal at times. I was not sick, I felt great and I was told I had cancer. The cancer did not make me feel ill, the treatment did, now I am told its all gone. I feel the same. It’s like a cruel joke, buts it’s all true. I am ok with it but it’s a strange feeling.

I am starting to think about how I manage my return to work. Next week I will be at the partners conference in Qld and I will use this week discuss this and consider a framework that will work for all concerned. I have been promised about 270 beers so I will need to pace myself (and pass on a few).

So what of this blog?

I am not sure if or how it will continue. It’s been helpful to write, no doubt. It’s helpful to me to scan some of the older posts as well. I did that a bit today. Shit I was black some days.

The comments made by many of you have also been very helpful, humorous and supportive. Thank you.

The “stats” tell me that I made 192 posts, they were read 17,949 times (which blows me away a bit), over 37 countries viewed the blog and over 490 comments where left. Carmen, Karen and Sneza where the top 3 contributors (that ranking was for Lily)

The stats though don’t speak to how this open diary of sorts helped me collect my thoughts, share this experience with those interested and enabled me, in no small way, to cope with this time a little better.

To all the fathers out there, enjoy tomorrow. It will be sweet.